A Friend at the Right Time.

One of the disadvantages of living in the deep south is the constant onslaught of heat and humidity. For a man who has spent the better part of his adult life in a temperate climate, this poses a few challenges. Fortunately, I usually have the option of setting my own hours which allows me to beat the heat by working into the evening. That is how I found myself, on the wrong side of midnight, driving through rural Louisiana on a warm night in July.

I had packed up my gear and was walking across an empty parking lot to work on my machine when a beagle fell into step next to me. No man with a soul can resist scratching a dog behind the ears, so being the soulful man I am, I squatted down to show the pup some love. She immediately retreated with her tail between her legs. I shrugged it off and continued with my task

Once I finished the work I turned to leave and the beagle lept into pursuit and gave a little yelp. Again I tried to give her a scratch and again she shied away from me. I almost left it at that but I couldn't resist one last try so I sat on the sidewalk and waited for a while. Eventually my patience paid off and my shy little K9 acquaintance came close enough for me to pet her. She stepped into the meager light shed by the streetlights rolled over. I knew then why she was so skittish. In the dim light of the parking lot I had missed the scars. Someone had treated her so badly that almost her entire body was covered by one scar on top of another. Burns, cuts and scars which I couldn't even identify. The only part of her that was untouched seemed to be the part I was petting. After a few moments she decided I must be OK and put her head on my lap and we sat like that for an hour or more while I talked to her. In my mind I was trying to weigh the pros and cons of giving this dog a home. How could I, in good conscience, leave her to whatever situation she was in? The world owed this dog a comfortable existence after whatever hell had marked her.

Just when I was starting to convince myself to start looking for a leash, she stood up, gave a bark and a shake, licked my face as if to say thanks for the chat and padded off down the nearest road leading out of town. It seems that she had found her own path out of hell and only stopped because she saw someone who needed a friend just as much as she did.

After my last post, the few friends who read this little island in the ocean of cyberspace pointed out that when one has friends, it is hard to chalk up ones existence to the negative. After dusting off this old story and giving it some thought, I have to agree. But there are other points to consider. First, when an unknown soul (be it dog or human) can see the good in you at a glance, no matter how dark it is, there must be enough light in you that everything else you do can be viewed in it's brilliance. And finally, the Powers That Be have an uncanny knack of sending a friend at just the moment you need it most... even when that moment is a long way down the road. All that's required is to see them when they come.

A Talk With a Stranger

Some time ago, while enjoying a friends hospitality I spent some time conversing with another guest whom I had not previously met. He was a musician, a poet and an all round artist with aspirations to an enlightened life. Our conversation had turned, as it often does, to career paths and I was explaining my rather mundane job when our mutual friend chimed in about how the job may be dull but my hobbies weren't. That, of course, turned us to a discussion of all of the out of the way knowledge I had accumulated on locksmithing, bush-craft, survival, homesteading, gunsmithing, self defense and so on. After questioning me a little about all of that he thought for a moment and said "It seems you've accumulated every possible negative skill". At the moment I didn't react. Everyone has a right to an opinion after all and it was clear that it wasn't an invitation to a debate. He had simply stated what he thought without malice... but it did make me think.

As I began to consider that short sentence it started to sound more and more like an accusation. No matter what the belief system, most people seem to be willing to acknowledge the link between positive thinking/acting/energy and positive long term results. Whether you believe as I do that God rewards the state of your heart by making you a conduit for positive events, (otherwise known as being blessed) or that positive energy once exerted mentally and pysically is reflected by the universe and returned to you bearing the good energy of others, one thing is clear. Nothing good can come of exercising negativity.

So as I sat home later that night mulling over the implications of that one little comment I began to compile a list. Sadly, the more I thought it through, the more that guy seemed to have a point. I've learned a great deal about survival in a world void of infrastructure out of a belief that society will eventually fall to its own lack of foresight and compassion despite the fact that mankind has steadily risen for over 1000 years. I have learned to be content with few possessions convinced that once gained, someone will wish to deprive me of them. I have learned self defense and the art of the trigger because lacking material goods, the next step is the deprivation of my life and the lives of those I love. I have learned first aid because my previous suppositions have been proven true throughout our society. And every career choice I have pursued until just recently has been based on covering the same bases for others who have had to live with the same realities.

On the reverse of that coin, I cannot create beautiful images nor compose or perform music. I cannot please anyone's taste-buds or give them goosebumps. I can injure and aid but not heal. I can block ingress and egress but I cannot show anyone the Way. I can think but not teach and I can earn but not enrich. Nothing I do seems to bring anyone around me entertainment, hope, wisdom, peace or wealth. So I am forced now to re-examine every step of my path and decide whether the things I have learned are knowledge, wisdom or distraction. Am I more than the sum of my parts or a case study in desperate irrelevancy?

I have spent a long time trying to find meaning in small things because I always thought that being content with small images without the bigger picture was a good way to avoid that feeling one gets of being insignificant when compared to the workings of the universe. But the longer I follow my feet, the more I miss feeling like I have a purpose... and the more I wonder if that lack of purpose stems from a lifetime of negative pursuit.